‘Confusing’ The Children
I’ve read a couple responses in the queer community to the statement from parents and other authority figures that queers with “confuse the children,” often with the sentiment of, “Oh, I accept you just fine, but don’t talk to the children about these things. I don’t want you to confuse them.”
Most of the responses are a silly (but true!) take on this, saying, “It probably will confuse your kids that I like girls/am not a boy or a girl/love many people at once/whatever, but hey - they’re KIDS! Pretty much everything you put in front of them is confusing, and rightly so - they haven’t learned about it yet! Reading and long division and imaginary numbers etc. will be way more confusing than me loving someone they wouldn’t expect or my different gender identity.”
I fully, fully agree with this - it’s true! Kids will be confused, but we’ll explain it best we can and then it will all be okay.
However, one response I haven’t heard is this, and I’d like to say it to anyone who says they accept me and love me as who I am but just don’t want to ‘confuse the children’ - what you’re saying is that I am doing something bad. When I have kids, what I don’t what them to be confused about is right and wrong. I don’t want them to see someone beating someone up, people ganging up on each other, and have them think that’s okay. I don’t want them hearing people call other people hurtful things, or deny them any rights, without an explanation that that is wrong, lest they become confused and think it is okay to be like that, someone who hurts other people, someone who doesn’t care.
So when you say you don’t want me to confuse the children, what you’re really saying is that who I am is bad, and you don’t want them to have their minds opened to the fact that it could be okay to be queer, or not the same religion, or not in the gender binary, or whatever else they want to shelter their kids from. And while you have the right to raise your children how you like, you are silencing me, and stunting your children’s growth. That’s your business, but it is what you are doing.
And for my parents, I’d like you to remember that I am your child as well, and it hurts, damnit, it hurts so bad, that you think who I am is so poisonous that I can’t even take the kids out without your supervision, because I might confuse them about right and wrong.
I love you, Dad. I love you, Smum. But who I am is okay, hell, it’s great, and the boys are going to hear about it sooner or later, whether it be while they’re children or later, whether it be from me or friends or people they seek out when they could be confused about who they are, because no one’s shown them that it’s okay.
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Thank you so much for sharing this with us, friend!!
I agree with you, and I would like to add that children ARE going to be confused about a lot of things as they go through life. That is why most children are quite inquisitive.
FOR PARENTS, SIBLINGS, TEACHERS, OR OTHER GUARDIANS/FRIENDS:
Children deserve the same amount of respect and education as ANY human being - regardless of whatever age they are.
- The best thing to do is ANSWER their questions.
- Do not shelter them from every day aspects of reality.
- Do not lie to them or blame people for things that they cannot help.
- Let them ask as many questions as they wish to.
- Do not talk down to them.
I would also like to say that it is quite courageous of you to realise and accept who you are, and to also take a stand against those who do not agree with the queer community - even if they are close to you. Much respect.
Best of luck to you. <3
Sincerely,
Riley (PQ creator/editor)
P.S. If people would like to submit responses to this, please do so. What do YOU think?
In 60 Minutes episode “Daddy’s Boy,” FTM Cai and MTF Emily share the story of their love, transition, and about Cai giving birth to their lovely child! A small warning: the interviewer’s questions are kind of ignorant.
Also, they share their story and about “Pregnant and Transgender” with Deirdre O’Brien and Annette Witheridge of Mirror…
(Cut for length; read on)
Source: mirror.co.uk
Source: youjolgbtq
I signed up to start donating to my first small ‘religious’ non-profit organisation today in Chicago. While I am not religious myself, I was assured by a mentor of the organisation that no child is discriminated against or left behind.
The organisation helps children in Chicago with low self-esteem, poor grades, gang peer pressure, bad family situations, etc.
Can anyone else confirm this? Specifically - how is their work with the lgbtq+ community?
I have done some research on their website located here, besides talking to a representative - and it seems to be legitimate and fair, but you can never be TOO sure, yeah?
For more information, check out:
Mercy Home for Boys & Girls
1140 W Jackson Blvd, Chicago, IL 60607
info@mercyhome.orgIf you are a child in need or to refer a child, please call toll-free 1-877-24-START
To make a donation, please call toll-free 1-877-MERCY-55
For all other inquiries, please call 1-312-738-7560What do YOU think?
Source: wanderlustprince
Children’s Book Explaining Homosexuality
blackenedbutterfly:lipglossblackleather:fuckingunicr0ns:hedwigthefeminist:
(via genderqueer)
Study: Gay Parenting Does a Kid Good

Stanford University recently conducted a study showing little difference in educational achievement between children raised by gay couples and those raised by married heterosexual couples.
The study, published in Demography magazine, utilized the U.S. Census for their findings. The results indicated that 7% of children raised by heterosexual married couples were held back a year, while about 9.5% of children living with same-sex partners repeated a grade.
Children of gay and married couples had lower grade-repetition rates than their peers raised by opposite-sex unmarried couples and single parents, according to the story.
Click here to read the full story.
New Study: Children of Same-Sex Parents Make Normal School Progress
A new study has found that children of same-sex parents are making progress through primary school at the same rate as children of opposite-sex couples. This will come as no surprise to most readers here; you’ve likely already read about this study and this one, which found that children of same-sex couples are just as well adjusted as any others. The big thing about this new study, however, is that it is big.
Lead researcher, sociologist Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University explains in the latest issue of Demographics that earlier studies have been criticized for using small samples. He therefore went for the biggest sample he could find: the U.S. Census, “the only nationally representative data set with a large enough sample of children raised by same-sex couples to allow for statistically powerful comparisons with children of other family types.”
His conclusions? “To the extent that normal progress through primary school is a useful and valid measure of child development, the results confirm that children of same-sex couples appear to have no inherent developmental disadvantage.”
Source: civillyunioned
Banning Gay Adoption Harms Florida Children
When child protective services took two young children from their home and brought them to Frank Martin Gill and his partner in December 2004, the investigator told the men, experienced foster parents, that the boys deserved a good holiday. The men were planning to move soon but agreed to take them temporarily.
It was clear the boys, ages four years and four months, needed care. The elder boy was wearing a dirty adult-sized t-shirt and sneakers four sizes too small. He did not speak, and his only concern was caring for his infant brother. Both boys had scalp ringworm and the younger had an ear infection, but the medicines brought from their home had been unused. When the older boy began to speak after about a month, the men learned he had never seen a book, could not count, and did not even know letters from numbers.
The brothers stayed and the men did not move. The boys developed friendships at school and in the neighborhood. They bonded with the biological son of Gill’s partner and with the men’s parents and siblings. They began referring to Gill and his partner (who is not identified in court documents) as “Papi” and “Daddy.” In 2007, after the rights of the biological parents were terminated, Gill petitioned to adopt.
The men, however, live here- in Florida — the one state that bans any gay men or lesbians from adopting. And that has created a dilemma for the courts: either they honor the law or honor their duty to rule in the best interests of the children.
Despite a positive home study, the Florida Department of Children and Families denied Gill’s adoption application. With the help of the ACLU of Florida, Gill sued the state. (The men felt they would stand no chance if they sued for a joint adoption.) During the trial, the court heard expert testimony from a psychologist who had assessed the boys and determined they would be “emotionally devastated” if taken from their current home.
In November 2008, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman ruled that the adoption ban violated Gill and the children’s right to equal protection under the state Constitution. The government, she said, failed to demonstrate a rational reason for imposing the ban, and the law obstructed the right of children to a permanent, stable home as provided by federal and state law.
The state Department of Children and Families (DCF) appealed the ruling to the state’s Third District Court of Appeals, which heard arguments in August 2009. The decision has now been pending for a year.
A few other states have some restrictions on gay people adopting children, but Florida is the only state whose law specifically bans adoptions by all gay men or lesbians. Mississippi bans same-sex couples from doing so, and Arkansas, Michigan, and Utah ban unmarried couples (by definition, all same-sex couples in the state).
So far, despite the ban, Florida courts have ruled three times to allow an adoption by a gay or lesbian parent. The first was in August 2008, when a Monroe Circuit judge allowed Wayne LaRue Smith to adopt the boy he and his partner had been fostering since 2001. Because Smith had already been named the boy’s legal guardian, neither DCF nor the attorney general appealed.
The second adoption was granted to Gill through Lederman’s ruling in November 2008. The third was in January 2010, when a Miami-Dade circuit judge allowed Vanessa Alenier to adopt the one-year-old she and her partner have been fostering. The judge said the adoption ban was “unconstitutional on its face.” The state has appealed that decision, too.
Nadine Smith, executive director of the advocacy group, Equality Florida, observed, “Judges are beginning to push back and say ‘There’s a contradiction in this law that does not allow us to carry out our prime mission, and that is that the children have to come first. What their needs are has to be the primary guidance in what we do.’”
Florida legislators have also recently attempted to overturn the ban in the legislature. Three bills were introduced in March, but two were withdrawn before a vote and one died in committee.
And Governor Charlie Crist, who now running for U.S. Senate, stated in June he believes in “a live and let live attitude as it regards adoption [by gay men and lesbians].” He said “the best decision maker would be a judge,” but that the current law must change first.
“I’m sure that a future legislature and maybe the next governor might address that issue,” he added.
Beyond Florida, some LGBT experts and advocates think that adoption could be the next major target -after marriage equality- for opponents of LGBT civil rights. In the federal trial this year challenging the constitutionality of Proposition 8, California’s ban on same-sex marriage, a witness for the plaintiffs, Dr. Gary Segura predicted that, as fewer states are able to use the initiative process to contest same-sex marriage, “the new front line would be gay and lesbian adoption.”
“I would not be surprised to see anti-adoption initiatives appearing in the near future,” said Segura, professor of political science at Stanford University.
Equality Florida’s Smith agreed, saying, “The entire country has a stake in ending [the Florida] adoption ban so that the far-right doesn’t begin trying to export it and expand it elsewhere through the same mechanisms that they pushed the marriage ban… . The far-right nationally is geared up to defend and expand this ban and we’ve got to be geared up nationally to defeat it.”
There are signs of this already. The Arizona House approved a bill at the end of February that would give preference to married couples when placing children with adoptive parents. It is now in the State Senate.
And voters in Arkansas approved that state’s ban on allowing adoptions by unmarried couples in November 2008. In April, a state circuit judge struck down the ban for that circuit, but the state is expected to appeal.
Anti-LGBT groups have long tried to tie the right to parent with the right to marry. In the Proposition 8 case, for example, attorneys defending the marriage ban tried to persuade the court that an opposite-sex couple provides the best family structure for raising children, and that marriage should therefore be limited to opposite-sex couples.
The defense’s star witness, David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values, however, testified, “I believe that adopting same-sex marriage would be likely to improve the well-being of gay and lesbian households and their children.”
Attorneys on the plaintiffs’ side brought in two experts who had also testified in the Florida Gill case. One was Dr. Michael Lamb, professor of developmental psychology at Cambridge University, who spoke in both cases about the extensive research showing that children do as well with gay or lesbian parents as with straight ones. The other was Dr. Letitia Peplau, professor of psychology and sociology at UCLA, who testified to the stability of same-sex relationships.
Anti-LGBT groups may have better luck at the ballot box than in the court room, as the field of experts to testify on their behalf about same-sex couples and children seems to be shrinking. In the Gill case, the DCF brought in two experts for the trial court hearing who argued that gay men and lesbians were not suitable to become parents. Judge Lederman said of one, clinical psychologist Dr. George Rekers, “the court can not consider his testimony to be credible nor worthy of forming the basis of public policy.” (Rekers was later reported to be traveling with a gay male escort who claimed Rekers himself was gay. Rekers responded that he spends time with sinners in order to help them.)
The other DCF expert, Dr. Walter Schumm, associate professor of family studies at Kansas State University, seemed to argue for Gill when he said, during the Florida trial, that “gay parents can be good foster parents,” and “the decision to permit homosexuals to adopt is best made by the judiciary on a case by case basis.”
Only one federal bill seeks to address the issue. The Every Child Deserves a Family Act, introduced by Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.) in March, would prohibit federal funds to states that discriminate in adoption based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Gill himself testified at a U.S. House panel discussion when the bill was introduced. The bill is now in the House Ways and Means Committee and has 29 co-sponsors, but there are no scheduled hearings and no Senate counterpart, making it unlikely it will pass this session.
Source: queerwatch
Man Kills Baby Boy for "Acting Like Girl"



A Long Island, N.Y., man stands accused of striking a fatal blow to a 17-month-old boy Sunday because he believed the baby was “acting like a little girl.”
According to WPIX-TV, suspect Pedro Jones, 20, of South Hampton has been charged with first-degree manslaughter for hitting Roy A. Jones so hard with his fists that the infant went into cardiac arrest and died at a local hospital. Police say Jones said he was “trying to make him act like a boy instead of a little girl.”
Jones, who was baby-sitting the infant on the Shinnecock Indian Reservation, is described as the boyfriend of the baby’s mother. He is not a member of the tribe, but he lives on the reservation.
Jones pleaded not guilty Monday and is being held without bail on Long Island.
The Kids Speak Out on Gay Parents
The UK’s equality charity Stonewall publishes groundbreaking research examining the experiences of children with gay parents today, reports Jason Shaw.
‘Different Families’ is based on interviews conducted by the University of Cambridge with over 80 children and young people from the age of four, all of whom have lesbian and gay parents. This new research also provides shocking insights into the prevalence of homophobia in Britain’s schools, including primary schools. The children who experience this, although not gay themselves, identify that many schools still don’t address it.

















