Eventually I want to write up a piece about dysphoria - what it is and what it is not.

I mean, I realise that dysphoria differs from person to person - with varying definitions, triggers, etc. However, lately I have been seeing a lot of trans* folks - specifically white trans* guys - use it in an attempt to excuse problematic and even hostile behaviour of sorts.

(The same thing goes for triggers in general, actually.)

If anyone has been privy to this sort of behaviour in the community and/or a relationship, friendship, etc. would you care to share your experience(s)?

Anon is on. Thank you, folks.

The Thoughts Room

artoftransliness:

Are you feeling dysphoric, insecure, depressed, and/or anxious? Do you need a place to vent but feel you don’t have anywhere to go? The Thoughts Room is a website that allows you to get your feelings out and type everything you need to say. Get out your insecurities, your negative feelings, everything you need to say and watch your words crash away and disappear. The calming music also helps soothe anxieties as you vent. It may not make everything all better, but it certainly seems like an effective tool for self-soothing, venting, and calming down. 

(via loversintransition)

Source: artoftransliness

SUBMISSION RESPONSES: Dysphoria & Personal Identity

In response to the ask located here: http://projectqueer.tumblr.com/post/13181341385/is-there-such-a-thing-as-identifying-as-the-gender-you
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  • Anonymous asked: To the other anon - it’s entirely possibly and I’ve been through three therapists in order to try and find some kind of reason for my dysphoria. I identify as female and physically I am a female, but my entire life I have felt like that’s just not it. Recently it’s been suggested that I’m agendered, and my female identity comes largely from having grown up being *told* that female is what I am. Try and seek out a therapist or speak to your GP about a referral for one, you’re not alone! <3 
  • Anonymous asked: i think i have similar feelings as that anon. i’ve always identified as the gender i was born into but have always wondered about being of the opposite sex as well. to the extent that if i were in a sexual relationship i think i would be very interested in the use of a harness. but i’ve never known what to call it. i almost assumed it was a natural curiosity until i got shamed about it in conversation.
  • v3ga5 asked: I sort of understand anon, i think. I was both male, and i love being a male… but i would love to have a female’s body :s i don’t know how to explain it

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Hello folks,

Thank you so much for sharing your personal stories and ideas for the anon who inquired about their personal identity. Let’s keep this discussion open.

If you would like to share YOUR personal story or advice relating to this issue, please do so, and I will add it here.

Sincerely,

Riley (PQ creator/editor)

Trans* Update - Number Seven: My Monthly Dysphoria

solemnhypnotik:

(TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of dysphoria due to menstruation, personal body-shame)

NOTE: My last trans* update discussed my dysphoria in general.

The trans* update linked above shall be dedicated to one topic in particular that causes me a great deal of dysphoria.

solemnhypnotik: Trans* Update - Number Four: Dysphoria &amp; ‘Passing’ in Society (TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of FTM dysphoria) While I have only recently come out as trans*, I have felt a great bit of dysphoria over the years. Most of this dysphoria stemmed/currently stems from social constructs of what my perceived gender is supposed to look and act like. The main causes of my dysphoria are: my breasts torso/hips my voice my height feeling like I have to shave my body Now, I am able to do some things that help with the dysphoria: I bind on occasion when I feel like my breasts are more noticeable.  I wear clothes that do not accent my hips or feminine shape. I no longer feel the need to shave my body (unless I want to). I also pack every day - which is the biggest help for me. No pun intended. ;) Without testosterone, I cannot do much to otherwise change my appearance naturally. Therefore, I just have to deal with my voice and small stature. As far as ‘passing’ goes, I am not too concerned with it at the moment. I am not completely out as trans* to everyone in my life, so eventually… I would love to pass, but it is not at the top of my priorities list. Only recently have I come to the conclusion that I do not give a fuck what other people think of me. What matters most to me is my love, family, and friends. With their help, I am gradually becoming the person I have always wanted to be - and loving myself for who I am. This is MY life, and I only get one chance to live it. As I have stated in the previous Trans* Update, please keep in mind that it does not matter if you ‘pass’ or not. What matters is that we - all of us - have the right to not be bullied, abused, or discriminated against based on our appearance (among other things). Do not let anyone tell you how to be YOU. Furthermore, identity policing in ANY community is wrong. No one has the right to tell you what you should or should not look or act like. The trans* community, like any other community, is quite diverse. Explore your own diversity. Be who YOU want to be and strive to educate others in the process. For more information on the FTM community and passing, check out this useful site: http://www.ftmguide.org/ Thanks for reading!! Please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or personal stories that you would like to share!! Sincerely, Riley P.S. The photo of me (above) was taken today. More photo updates will be available over time. ————————————————————————- Check Out Previous Trans* Updates here: Trans* Update: Number One - Body Hair Trans* Update: Number Two - My Chosen Name Trans* Update: Number Three - Long Hair, Facial Hair, &amp; Gender Presentation ————————————————————————- Also, if you are not sure about some of the  terminology that I use, please check out this guide on FTM terminology: www.ftmguide.org/terminology.html or simply contact me.
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solemnhypnotik:

Trans* Update - Number Four: Dysphoria & ‘Passing’ in Society

(TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of FTM dysphoria)

While I have only recently come out as trans*, I have felt a great bit of dysphoria over the years. Most of this dysphoria stemmed/currently stems from social constructs of what my perceived gender is supposed to look and act like.

The main causes of my dysphoria are:

  • my breasts
  • torso/hips
  • my voice
  • my height
  • feeling like I have to shave my body

Now, I am able to do some things that help with the dysphoria:

  • I bind on occasion when I feel like my breasts are more noticeable. 
  • I wear clothes that do not accent my hips or feminine shape.
  • I no longer feel the need to shave my body (unless I want to).
  • I also pack every day - which is the biggest help for me. No pun intended. ;)

Without testosterone, I cannot do much to otherwise change my appearance naturally. Therefore, I just have to deal with my voice and small stature. As far as ‘passing’ goes, I am not too concerned with it at the moment. I am not completely out as trans* to everyone in my life, so eventually… I would love to pass, but it is not at the top of my priorities list.

Only recently have I come to the conclusion that I do not give a fuck what other people think of me. What matters most to me is my love, family, and friends. With their help, I am gradually becoming the person I have always wanted to be - and loving myself for who I am. This is MY life, and I only get one chance to live it.

As I have stated in the previous Trans* Update, please keep in mind that it does not matter if you ‘pass’ or not. What matters is that we - all of us - have the right to not be bullied, abused, or discriminated against based on our appearance (among other things). Do not let anyone tell you how to be YOU.

Furthermore, identity policing in ANY community is wrong. No one has the right to tell you what you should or should not look or act like. The trans* community, like any other community, is quite diverse. Explore your own diversity. Be who YOU want to be and strive to educate others in the process.

For more information on the FTM community and passing, check out this useful site: http://www.ftmguide.org/

Thanks for reading!! Please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or personal stories that you would like to share!!

Sincerely,

Riley

P.S. The photo of me (above) was taken today. More photo updates will be available over time.

————————————————————————-

Check Out Previous Trans* Updates here:

Trans* Update: Number One - Body Hair

Trans* Update: Number Two - My Chosen Name

Trans* Update: Number Three - Long Hair, Facial Hair, & Gender Presentation

————————————————————————-

Also, if you are not sure about some of the  terminology that I use, please check out this guide on FTM terminology:

www.ftmguide.org/terminology.html

or simply contact me.

solemnhypnotik: (TRIGGER WARNING: mild discussion of dysphoria, cissexism) Before I start the update, I might as well explain it considering it is the first one and all: I have decided to update folks who follow my tumblr and keep you all informed about my trans* identity/status. Basically, I will discuss all things involving being trans* from time to time - whether that is information regarding sex, sexuality, social constructs about gender/gender roles, pronoun usage, dysphoria, body hair, androgyny, social interaction, cissexism, life in general, etc. This particular update involves body hair. For those of you who are not aware, I used to be extremely self-conscious about my body hair. My hair is considerably dark and thick (and seemingly everywhere). I was taunted by ‘friends’, family, and other peers for such ever since I was a small child. By the time I got to middle school, the relentless teasing led me to shave everywhere my body hair was visible to others. Since I also have sensitive skin, I would get itchy, irritable red bumps all over my skin. I also feared for ingrown hairs and other health risks that result from shaving. The bullying got so bad that I never wanted to go to school or socialise with anyone. If I had to go, I would dress in baggy clothing that covered my arms and legs. Long story short: my past experiences with shaving have been horrible. Only recently have I truly felt comfortable NOT feeling like I HAVE to shave any part of my body. At this point in my life, I only shave the sides of my head and my ‘nether region’ as some people call it. And, sometimes, I lather up my face and will give myself an old-fashioned shave. Not only does it make me feel all smooth and soft, but it makes me feel more like the man that I am. Anyhow, this is a huge step for me in regards to my self-acceptance and overall self-esteem. While I have not come out as trans* to everyone in my life, my current love, friends, and family are all extremely supportive, respectful, and accepting of who I am and how I wish to look. I could not be more thankful for them. Thank you for taking the time to read/share this, folks. Please feel free to message me with YOUR own stories and/or questions. Sincerely, Riley P.S. Please note that I have nothing against shaving or people who DO shave/trim. To each their own. If it works for you, do it. But do not let others force you to change who you are. Everyone deserves the right to look the way they want. You are beautiful.&lt;3 P.S.S. The above photo is from Jetta Vegas’s etsy shop The Radical Uprise. Check it out and get yourself some awesome swag.
Pop-upView Separately

solemnhypnotik:

(TRIGGER WARNING: mild discussion of dysphoria, cissexism)

Before I start the update, I might as well explain it considering it is the first one and all:

I have decided to update folks who follow my tumblr and keep you all informed about my trans* identity/status.

Basically, I will discuss all things involving being trans* from time to time - whether that is information regarding sex, sexuality, social constructs about gender/gender roles, pronoun usage, dysphoria, body hair, androgyny, social interaction, cissexism, life in general, etc.

This particular update involves body hair.

For those of you who are not aware, I used to be extremely self-conscious about my body hair. My hair is considerably dark and thick (and seemingly everywhere). I was taunted by ‘friends’, family, and other peers for such ever since I was a small child. By the time I got to middle school, the relentless teasing led me to shave everywhere my body hair was visible to others.

Since I also have sensitive skin, I would get itchy, irritable red bumps all over my skin. I also feared for ingrown hairs and other health risks that result from shaving. The bullying got so bad that I never wanted to go to school or socialise with anyone. If I had to go, I would dress in baggy clothing that covered my arms and legs.

Long story short: my past experiences with shaving have been horrible.

Only recently have I truly felt comfortable NOT feeling like I HAVE to shave any part of my body. At this point in my life, I only shave the sides of my head and my ‘nether region’ as some people call it. And, sometimes, I lather up my face and will give myself an old-fashioned shave. Not only does it make me feel all smooth and soft, but it makes me feel more like the man that I am.

Anyhow, this is a huge step for me in regards to my self-acceptance and overall self-esteem. While I have not come out as trans* to everyone in my life, my current love, friends, and family are all extremely supportive, respectful, and accepting of who I am and how I wish to look. I could not be more thankful for them.

Thank you for taking the time to read/share this, folks. Please feel free to message me with YOUR own stories and/or questions.

Sincerely,

Riley

P.S. Please note that I have nothing against shaving or people who DO shave/trim. To each their own. If it works for you, do it. But do not let others force you to change who you are. Everyone deserves the right to look the way they want. You are beautiful.<3

P.S.S. The above photo is from Jetta Vegas’s etsy shop The Radical Uprise. Check it out and get yourself some awesome swag.

s o f i a l o r e n z o m b i : I am getting a lot of positive feedback from my post about the dysphoria that my periods cause.

solemnhypnotik:

For those who have not seen it, you can read the post here.

All of this feedback really means a lot to me. It says that I am not alone - and that I definitely do have options and support. I am trying to keep a positive mental attitude regarding all aspects of my life, and this most certainly helps me do so. Thank you so much, everyone.

Please know that you can talk to me if you want to get anything off of your shoulders, folks - whether this business of dysphoria is the topic of discussion or WHATEVER. I am here for those in need - or even if you just want to chat.

Thanks again, folks.

SLZ

P.S. I am responding to ALL feedback that I am getting from this. I am making sure to do so in private messages - as some of the discussions are private matters. Please feel free to message me if you feel comfortable. Anonymous messages are totally fine by me.

s o f i a l o r e n z o m b i : I woke up today with a terrible feeling.

solemnhypnotik:

If discussions about menstruating are just too much information for you, now is the time to stop reading.

I got my period yesterday afternoon.

A little background for those who do not know:

I identify as genderqueer, because I do not fit into the spectrum of trans*, but also because I live outside of the binary gender system. In other words, I dislike being referred to as ‘male’ or ‘female’, because I feel like I am more of a combination of both.

In all actuality, I feel like a combination of both. I have never fully embraced my being female - especially regarding society’s idea of what it means to be female and the constructed gender roles that accompany that meaning.

It sounds so cliche, but I have always felt different and out of place in my skin. When I was a kid, I always wished to be a boy, because I liked what they got to do and how they looked, acted, etc. Growing up, I realized I did not want to BE a boy, but rather be able to be socially accepted doing the things that men do. And now today I could give a fuck less about being socially accepted or what ‘men’ do.

I merely want to embrace myself and exist as I am.

Moving On To The Terrible Feeling:

Ever since I started getting my periods, I loathed them. Some people embrace and love them. Some people dislike them for their discomfort. To each their own, but I fucking loathe mine.

My period serves me no purpose. I have never planned on ever physically having children myself - nor do I wish to.

For me, my period just causes horrible dysphoria.

(If you are not aware, dysphoria means the exact opposite of euphoria. It is a state of unpleasant moods that may cause sadness or depression - and often times anxiety and self-consciousness.)

For me, my dysphoria stems a lot from not liking how my body looks. I dislike my upper body in general, but - more specifically - I dislike my breasts and the curve of my hips. In all honesty, I have always wanted my upper body to be more masculine. It would just feel right to me, and I would feel like a whole person.

What Happens When I Get My Period:

Basically, most of the common period symptoms occur. I get headaches, cramps, and I feel bloated. My muscles and past injuries ache incessantly. My moods change frequently and often times I feel anxious and depressed.

Sure, these are all pretty standard results of getting your period. However, I also become reclusive, because it effects my day-to-day activities and emotional well-being. I feel like my identity is skewed. And I have this unfounded paranoia that everyone knows it, and there is no way to hide it.

What My Future Holds:

I cannot say what my future holds as of right now. I know that I have options to help put an end to these monthly tribulations, but I am not sure that I want to take the steps necessary to do so. Apologies for that being extremely vague, but I have much more research to do on the matter.

Until then, I will just have to deal with this - just like everyone else.

Well, I just wanted to get all of that out. I wanted to share and get different opinions or stories on the matter. I am even thinking about eventually creating a zine on the topic. Anyhow, thank you for reading, folks. Please feel free to share or comment.

Any questions? Just ask. I am an open book as they say.

A Guide To Your FTM Boyfriend: Dysphoria

aguidetoyourftmboyfriend:

A bit after getting into a relationship with a transgender person, you learn what “dysphoria” is. Dysphoria is described as the feeling of being in an uncomfortable mood, such as restless, sad, depressed, anxious, or irritable. Of course, if you are in a relationship with a transgender person, you…